Saturday, October 9, 1999

My Wells woman should be here by tomorrow evening. I have been looking forward to this all week. The rest of today and most of tomorrow are going to be among the slowest days I've lived thus far. Like Tom Petty said, "The waiting is the hardest part."

I am an expert on unrequited love. I have given my heart away so many times only to have it given back, that I should start my own cardiac savings and loan. Most of the time though, the object of your affection doesn't give your heart back without marking it, saying "I've been here and I shall always be here in one form or another."

Now I'm finding myself on the other side of the situation. Someone is infatuated with me, but I feel nothing. In fact, I can honestly say that I'm beginning to find her pursuit of me annoying. I just wish she would stop.

It's come to the point where I can no longer just brush her off with non-verbal signals. I'm going to have to tell her straight out that nothing will ever come of how she feels. The thought of doing this does not make me feel good. I've been shattered so many times, how could I bring myself to do what I've hated for so long? Seeing the other side, I now know why it had to be done.

I'm hoping that there will not be too many pieces to pick up.