Alcoholism expert Kenneth Anderson provides six practical steps for helping a partner achieve control over the loved ones drinking behavior.

Step One is to establish boundaries and use harm reduction practices for yourself and your children.
Step Two is to recognize that harm is hierarchial.
Step Three is to avoid unhelpful actions.

    1. Don’t confront.
    2. Don’t use logical arguments.
    3. Don’t interfere with your partner’s techniques for abstaining or controlling drinking.
    4. Don’t accept blame for your partner’s drinking problems.
    5. Don’t use labels.

Step Four is change the way you interact with your partner and to use motivational interviewing.

    1. Use empathetic listening to stimulate thinking by your partner about the downsides of the person’s current drinking patterns.
    2. Help your partner self-develop plans for changing behaviors rather than imposing them on the partner.
    3. Don’t take any confrontational actions.
    4. Show support for every positive change made by your partner as a triumph.
    5. Clearly express your needs and concerns to your partner.

Step Five is to change your thinking or your situation, if necessary.
Step Six is to be prepared for unexpected changes in your life.

To learn more about these helpful steps, visit How to Change Your Spouse’s Drinking.

Two lists of books on helping and coping are provided. Books in the first list are those that can be located on WorldCat, the world's largest network of library content and services. It is the largest “library card catalog” in existence. The second list contains those books for which information is provided on Amazon but not on WorldCat.

First List of Self-Help Books

To learn more about a book in this list, simply click on the title. This leads to WorldCat, which describes the book and indicates which libraries have it in their collections. It also provides information that can be used to order the book from a bookstore or on the internet.

Help them beat the booze : how to survive life with a problem drinker
by Edmund Tirbutt; Helen Tirbutt
London : Rodale, 2011.

Coping with an alcoholic parent
by Kay Marie Porterfield
New York : Rosen Pub. Group, 1990.

You need help! : a step-by-step plan to convince a loved one to get counseling
by Mark S Komrad
Center City, Minn. : Hazelden, 2012.

Courage to be me--living with alcoholism
by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.;
Virginia Beach, VA : Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, 1996.

Second List of Self-Help Books

The following books are not in WorldCat. To learn about a book in this list, click on the title. This leads to Amazon.com, which describes the book and is a source from which it can be ordered.

Alcoholic Husband: How To Cope With An Alcoholic Spouse Who Has A Serious Alcoholism Problem (Coping With An Alcoholic-Dealing...
by Al Mentoring and JC Anonymous

How to Help an Alcoholic: Coping with Alcoholism and Substance Abuse (Help an Alcoholic Spouse, Alcoholic Family...
by C.K. Murray

Secret Tips: How To Survive & Help The Alcoholic You Love
by Randy Young

How To Deal With An Addict: How To Cope With Drug Addicts And Coping With Substance Abusers (Coping With Alcoholism...
by JC Anonymous

Sober Siblings: How to Help Your Alcoholic Brother or Sister—and Not Lose Yourself
by Patricia Olsen and Petros Levounis

Dealing With Alcoholics-Proven Methods For Dealing With a Problem Drinker (Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Book...
by JC Anonymous

Alcoholic Spouse: Coping With An Alcoholic Husband or Wife (Coping With Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Book 3)...
by Ashley Rosebloom and JC Anonymous

Coping With An Alcoholic-Tips To Help You Learn How To Cope With Alcoholics (Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Book...
by JC Anonymous

Coping With An Addict: For Anyone Needing Help Dealing With Alcoholism or Dealing With Substance Abusers
by Sarah Goldberg

Living With an Alcoholic: The Wisdom You Need For Learning How To Live With an Alcoholic (Alcoholism and Substance...
by JC Anonymous

Secret Tips: How To Survive & Help The Alcoholic You Love
by Randy Young

Am I an Alcoholic?

Alcohol And Drug Addiction: How To Know If You Have The Symptoms Feb 9, 2015
by Charles Clapp and Twelve Step Work

Alcoholism: Alcohol syndrome symptoms Oct 21, 2013
by Akila M. Ramses

Alcoholism Addiction: God Grant Me the Wisdom To Know The Difference About Addiction Jan 7, 2015
by Albert Ullman and Sober Living Publishing

Alcoholism: Am I an Alcoholic? No Worries! Helpful Tips to Staying Drug and Alcohol Free. A Guide on How to Stop... Dec 5, 2013
by Tiffany Williams

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